lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
