He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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