How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize