Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
