I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
