Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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