I have demons in me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
