im having a threesome with these popsicles
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
