At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
