your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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