For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
