he shaved USA in his pubs
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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