Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
