So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
