It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
