HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
