oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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