I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
All the doctor said was why
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
