Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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