Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
