they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
