He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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