You're so nebulous sometimes
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
