maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
