I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
