That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
