It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
