I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
