if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
