it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize