idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Do vagina's smell?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
