I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
