so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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