wanna go halves on a baby?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
