Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
