you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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