This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize