it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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