she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
