are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wannas sexs uuuuu
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
