I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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