Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
