I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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