Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(559): View more from California

the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.

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(254): View more from Texas

Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced

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(712): View more from Iowa

He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!

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(678): View more from Georgia

Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.

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(480): View more from Arizona

West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH

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(501): View more from Arkansas

So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...

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(260): View more from Indiana

After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.

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(646): View more from New York

NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?

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