just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
