i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
