So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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