He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Randomize
