What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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