I think I am morally bankrupt
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm like, not good at living.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize