So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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