So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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