wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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