All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
