Having a random hookup so left but love u
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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