i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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