would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
my poor anus
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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