were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
