i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
