Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
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