Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
