morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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