I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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