I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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