So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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