If that was your dad, he is hot
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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