Please, let me fuck your mom
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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