I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
