I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
